我希望2021年成为一年，我会和你一起开放。我想深入研究已经形成的体验，并影响了我今天是谁。在时尚和社交媒体上工作APP亚博娱乐，我认为身体赋权和心理健康都是非常重要的主题，不仅仅是彼此，而是用数字领域，我们都在今天找到自己。说实话，我并没有与我的身体和食物有健康的关系。正如你们很多人所知道的那样，我出生在脊柱侧凸，脊柱的曲率，童年来说，这让我感到羞耻我的身体，因为我认为没有“正常”。事实上，我讨厌它。我记得那天我在小学中戴着背部的那一天第一次和一个同学们觉得我的衣服下面我的括号，我惭愧。之后，我实际上从来没有戴过上学。在15岁时，我被诊断出厌食症，这是我生命中最低点的。我记得很清楚，我的思维方式和我的习惯，以及我的家人如何受到它们的影响。 And I remember it started after I got back from a trip to visit modeling agencies in NYC, and being very harshly denied. It affected me quite deeply, and I remember crying so hard on that trip, looking in the mirror seeing only something ugly and I said I never wanted to go back to NYC again. Looking back, without a doubt this experience mixed with internal issues stemming from my own self inflicted body negativity and the general pressure to fit into a perfect mold as a female in all aspects of life added up and controlled me, even though I thought I was the one in control. I became a perfectionist to the max. Everything around me had to feel in my control. I counted absolutely everything, down to the smallest bit of food on my plate to the number of sit ups or laps across the pool I did. It was mentally and physically exhausting but I thrived off of this control. I remembered my skin was so dry. My joints started to hurt. And I would easily become short of breath. My mom cried countless times over me. I was not even 16 yet.
我觉得我缺乏对照的控制局面的脊柱局面混合了我的自尊，不安过渡到成年期，更不用说杂志向我展示了我认为我应该看起来像是什么让我嘲笑我戏剧性寻求控制。食物很容易让我当时控制。每磅丢失都是一个复选标记。并思考，这在我开始使用Instagram和所有这些应用程序之前都很远。这让我想到今天的年轻女孩必须经历。作为妇女，我们被轰炸为完美的图像，以及由社会对我们所指责的美丽决定的完整和完整的废话等级制度。Even today, as a 33 year old, I still face these sorts of insecurities, but I’ve learned to be stronger than them because I can never forget what it was like to be at the very bottom of it and it is not worth it to ever put myself through that again. I could go even deeper into my experience now, but I just want to make the point that most of the time, as women, it is never an easy path for us to come to love ourselves and to grow into women who feel strong, confident and empowered in our own bodies in a way that is healthy, happy and soul feeding. I feel like after an experience like this, one is always in a continuous process of healing, but I’m happy to say that where I am now physically and mentally is exactly where I want and need to be. I have learned so much about the relationship I have with my body and why I must treat it so well, and why I want to be an advocate for body empowerment especially amongst women. It’s deeper than just the physical aspect. It’s rooted deep into the mental, and without that strength we cannot give back to the world our best selves. This scar on my back, a result of my scoliosis surgery at 18, represents a long time of healing; the closure of a fight to free myself from the control I pressured myself to have over my body. Without my scoliosis, what actually began as something that made me hate parts of myself came to be what saved me . . . what showed me why it was so important to stay strong and treat my body like a temple because my life depended on it. I feel strong today, but it sure took a fight to get to this place, but it was worth it. I just want to share a little bit of my experience to hopefully help others who may need to hear it.